Waiting like a madman
by imPERFECTology
Summary: His face changed imperceptibly then, but she was so used to reading him that she noticed. He was bit tired tonight, she thought. The slope of his shoulders, the waning strength of his imperviousness… "I haven't left her alone. I've been here, waiting like a madman. Like a fool," he said. AU oneshot based on Love in Tokyo and anime.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything (except in my dreams). Please don't sue.**

This one shot is mainly based on the live-action drama **Mischievous Kiss: Love in Tokyo** and the **anime**. Basically Naoki and Kotoko (in my mind at least) look and act like the characters in the live-action, but you'll notice Chris (from the anime) is an important secondary character.

It's also an **AU**; the premise is Kotoko and Naoki either started a relationship/were about to start one, but something occurred that caused them to break up. A lot of this is up to your imagination. Basically I just wanted to write a repentant Naoki, a scenario where Naoki was the one chasing after Kotoko. The biggest problem was framing it in a way that would allow Naoki to stay in character.

* * *

**Waiting like a madman**

Kotoko was humming softly to herself. She carefully placed the lacquered glassware one on top of the other, mindful to be as quiet as possible. The restaurant was full tonight, and tumbles of conversation swirled around her little song. Some people were happy. The necks of their glasses, brimming with sake, clinked merrily as they cheered raucously.

Then something caught her eye. She noticed a young woman picking at a bowl of greens, while the man seated opposite her tap-tapped busily on his phone. "Excuse me," he said, rising smoothly. "There's something that requires my attention."

Where was the towel? Ah, there it was. Kotoko picked it up and rubbed diligently on the surface of the table. She watched as the young woman's chopsticks faltered, then rested gently on her plate. Her hands fell to her lap, and clenched.

Kotoko finished wiping her table and carried the glassware back into the kitchens. She picked up her teapot and walked through the curtains, back out into the hustle and bustle.

"Sorry for the wait!" she heard Chris say to Table 3, her hands laden with food. Kin-chan must be really busy back in the kitchen, Kotoko thought to herself.

The man wasn't back yet. She could see him outside, leaning against a lamp post. The yellow glow cast a faint haze around his angular features. The phone was held against his ear, and from the cold mist evaporating into the night it looked like he was talking to someone.

"Would you like more tea?" Kotoko asked kindly. The young woman looked up, her eyes slightly rimmed with red. She sniffled.

Kotoko glanced down at the young woman's cup. The tea had barely been touched.

"Drink. Nothing calms the soul like a good brew of tea," Kotoko said with a smile. She filled an empty cup with steaming hot tea and placed it in front of the young woman, before picking up the cold tea and carrying it back to the kitchen.

"Kotoko-chan!" It was Kinnosuke, sweat dripping from his forehead, the white cuffs of his shirt rolled up.

"It's a good night for the restaurant, Kin-chan," Kotoko said. She dumped the tea down the drain and set the empty cup with the rest of the dirty plates.

"It's a good night every night with me and my knife," Kinnosuke said. He beamed proudly, then concentrated on plating the dish in front of him.

Kotoko walked over. "Mmm, that smells wonderful!"

Chris burst through the curtains. "Ko-to-ko! It's crazy outside, come and help!"

Kotoko laughed. "I'm coming! Tonight your section seems to be a lot rowdier than mine."

Chris wrinkled her nose, but didn't say anything. Since Chris was training to be the mistress of the restaurant, Kotoko's father had assigned the small rooms as well as the large group tables to her. Chris also had more pressure to strike up a good rapport with guests.

"Kotoko-chan! Before you leave take these with you." Kinnosuke gestured at two complete plates on the counter.

"Alright, I'm off!" Kotoko carefully balanced the plates in her hands and ducked through the curtains. She made her way to the table in the far corner, smiling at regulars and keeping an eye on her guests.

The man was back. The young woman was picking at her greens again, the tea beside her gently emitting steam.

"Sorry for the wait! I have your order for tonight." Kotoko placed the plates gently on the table.

The man looked up from his phone. His eyes were a hard brown colour, but they softened slightly. Was it the light? Kotoko looked away quickly, and focused on the man's companion. The young woman smiled tiredly at Kotoko. "Thank you," she said.

"You're very welcome. I hope you enjoy! And remember, drink your tea," Kotoko said. She winked at the young woman, smiled, and then flitted off. There were always more guests with more requests, and she allowed herself to be consumed with the restless spirit of the night.

* * *

"Thank you for your hard work!" Chris said as she walked by. She had changed out of her kimono and was wearing a pretty blue skirt that matched her eyes. Kin-chan was a lucky man, Kotoko noted.

"You look very pretty tonight, Chris. Is Kin-chan taking you out on a date?" Kotoko asked.

Chris blushed. "Yes, but he's not done in the kitchen yet…"

"I'll go check," Kotoko said gently. She walked through the curtains and found Kinnosuke nervously pacing.

"Kotoko-chan!" he said in surprise.

"Kin-chan, you're making Chris wait," Kotoko said with a frown.

"Aaah, Kotoko-chan, I don't know what to do!" Kinnosuke said. He was babbling and still pacing around nervously, but Kotoko noticed that his hand was stuck in his pants pocket.

"Kin-chan, what's that you've got there?" she asked, pointing.

Kinnosuke froze.

"I…" he said.

"Is that for Chris?" Kotoko asked shrewdly.

"I…" he said, eyes wide. Kotoko looked at him, then smiled.

"Good luck, Kin-chan. Be good to Chris, alright? She deserves to be loved, and so do you," she said. "Go. I'll clean up the kitchen tonight."

"But I…"

"Just go!" Kotoko said, giggling. She pushed Kinnosuke out the curtains, and heard Chris scolding him about being late.

"Those two…" she said softly, smiling. She hummed a little song and picked up a nearby cloth. But before she did that, she reached for the coffee pot and poured herself a healthy amount.

Kotoko looked down into her cup of coffee, and saw her reflection staring back at her from out of the black liquid.

* * *

She locked the door of the shop. It was past midnight already, so her phone was in her hand. Although _Aihara_ was located in a nice part of town, there was always a chance that unsavoury characters lurked nearby, especially in a city like Tokyo.

"Kotoko."

She jumped. Then she froze, the keys dangling from her tense fingers.

"You caught me," she said, the words whooshing out. She turned around, and looked at the man leaning against the lamp post.

He hadn't changed one bit. Those same eyes, which peered at her with a stony intensity. That same nose, which had been pointed down towards her since the first time they crossed paths. And his lips, red and unmoving.

"Have I?" he asked. His expression never changed. It was the same forbidding face that scolded her harshly, that teased her merciless. The same face that had softened, had smiled, had even laughed, and then had closed itself off to the world.

But never to me, Kotoko though. His face. It would never be closed to me.

Her hand moved of its own accord, and her heart was badump-ing like crazy. She forced it back to her side.

"You promised me one chance. To show you that I've changed," he said.

"You haven't," she said, breathless. "She was very pretty, and you left her all alone. That wasn't very kind."

"So the tea _was_ you," he said.

"That phone is still glued to your hand," she said.

His face changed imperceptibly then, but she was so used to reading him that she noticed. He was bit tired tonight, she thought. The slope of his shoulders, the waning strength of his imperviousness…

"I haven't left her alone. I've been here, waiting like a madman. Like a fool," he said. They both knew he wasn't talking about his dinner companion.

"I've been here every night. And I'm running out of people to eat dinner with. So for the sake of my employees, who are all terrified they'll be called on to eat with the boss tomorrow, say you'll take their place. Be my dinner companion, and I'll never have to find another one again."

"They might be terrified of you, but I'm sure there are plenty who would love to eat with their handsome boss," she said lightly. The sky held no stars tonight. The light pollution in Tokyo was quite something.

"I think the restaurant will be closed tomorrow," Kotoko said, turning back to him. He looked down from the sky as well, and his eyebrow raised ever-so-slightly. She thought of Kin-chan, and Chris, and how happy Chris would be tonight.

But tonight, she won't be lonely with only a cup of coffee and memories to keep her company. Tonight, she won't be thinking about how lucky everyone else was. She won't be thinking about how she, too, had once thought herself the luckiest girl in the world.

Hesitantly, tentatively, Kotoko reached out a hand. There was a pause, and then he grasped her hand firmly in his.

"Kotoko," he said. There was a lilt of hope in his voice, like a single gentle ray of sunlight infusing the gloom with a soft radiance. He pulled, and she followed until she found herself back in his arms.

She reached up on her tip toes, her hands balancing on his shoulders. Her lips brushed his once, twice, and then stayed there. After a long moment, she finally drew back with a satisfied smile.

"Serves you right," she said.

And he laughed.

* * *

I wrote that in half an hour as an outpouring of emotion, mainly frustration at how slowly season 2 is airing. Let me know what you think of my writing exercise!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing!

Thanks to you if you read the first part and reviewed, because you're awesome and you made my day! I decided to continue this one-shot just a bit further, with more fluff than anything else. It's already pre-written, so I'll be posting this second part today, and the third and fourth sometime later.

**Please read and review!**

* * *

Every morning, Kinnosuke arrived at exactly nine in the morning to prepare for the day.

"Always be prepared!" Aihara had once said to him. And Kinnosuke had taken those words, folded them close to his heart, and followed them like a law. His kitchens were always spotlessly clean. His knives were always in the correct order. His refrigerators were always stocked with the freshest ingredients, locally sourced from farms surrounding Tokyo.

So it was no different on this day, of all days. He got up, made a quick breakfast of a convenience store bento (his considerable culinary talents not fully functioning early in the morning), and hopped on to the 8:30 bus. He would wind his way slowly through the early morning traffic rush until finally, the bus chugged up to his stop and he hopped off a block away from _Aihara_.

_Aihara_ was his pride and joy. It was an emblem of everything he had ever thought he needed, and it had instead given him what he truly required.

There weren't many people dawdling about outside of _Aihara_. Most everyone was rushing through the streets at the normal Tokyo pace, which meant a single minded surging forward that stopped for nothing and no one. The hustle and bustle merely slipped around Kinnosuke, who was whistling a tune as he fished out his keys and slipped in through the glass doors.

He surveyed the empty restaurant in front him. He knew every table intimately, could draw a blueprint of the place in his sleep. Carefully making sure that all was in its proper place, he reminded himself to commend Kotoko-chan on a job well done.

Then, like every morning, he made a beeline for the curtains that separated the dining floor from his domain, the kitchens.

Except this morning was slightly different.

Unlike yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that, Kinnosuke was not the only person in the restaurant. Instead, there was the merry clanging of pots and pans in his most sacred space.

Kinnosuke burst through the curtains in a flurry of fear and anger, before his eyes took note of the peculiar scene in front of him, freezing him in his place.

"Oh! Good morning, Kin-chan!" Kotoko said merrily. "I'm sorry, I'm probably disturbing you, but I thought I would borrow… oops!"

Kinnosuke winced as he spotted a pot (a 100, 000 yen pot he managed to snag on sale last Christmas) bubbling over what used to be his spotless stove top.

"Kotoko-chan," he said weakly. "Good morning."

It wasn't until much later that Kinnosuke realized what had possessed Kotoko to barge into his sacred domain and ruin his carefully ordered kitchen.

After rescuing his pot, and wincing at the mess he found inside his pot, Kinnosuke had rounded on Kotoko like a parent would an unruly child.

"Kotoko-chan! What did you think you were doing?"

Kotoko laughed nervously. "…cooking?" she offered.

"NO! No, this is not cooking. Kotoko-chan, this is called poisoning someone," Kinnosuke declared.

"Kin-chan! Surely I wasn't that bad!" At Kinnosuke's grimace, Kotoko relented. "Well, fine, maybe I'm not gifted in the kitchen like you are, but I manage to scrap together three meals a day without your help."

"If you call convenience store bentos 'scrapping together a meal'," Kin-chan sneered.

"I have it in on good authority that _you_, Oh Almight Chef, eat convenience store bentos as well!" Kotoko-chan said triumphantly. "And there's nothing wrong with them. I'm sure at least half of Tokyo's population survives on them too."

"The point is," Kinnosuke stressed, "This isn't cooking. This is… this is destruction, not creation. And you still haven't told me what you're doing in my kitchen at nine in the morning!"

At this, Kotoko turned a bit pale. She ignored Kinnosuke and returned back to her cutting board, which was strewn with roughly hewn carrots.

"Kotoko-chan."

Kotoko lifted a cutting knife and brought it down upon a carrot with a loud thump.

"Kotoko-chan, you can't ignore me for forever."

Kotoko stared at the carrot, puzzled. Why was it that _he_ could cut his carrots into perfectly proportioned slices, and she lacked the motor skills to do the same? It wasn't fair! She had always envied him of his seeming talent to excel at everything he set his mind to. She smiled. Apparently, this talent also extended to making her fall in love with him again.

Not that she ever fell out of love in the first place, but he didn't need to know that.

Humming a cheery tune, Kotoko determinedly raised the knife again and was about to bring it down on the carrot when a rough hand caught her elbow.

"Stop! Please, stop! My poor knife can't take any more careless wielding!" Kinnosuke quickly snatched his knife out of her hands, inspected the damage on the blade, and gave a sigh of relief.

"Kin-no-su-ke!" Kotoko said, tapping her foot.

"Until you tell me why you suddenly decided to invade–", at her glare, Kinnosuke quickly reworded it, "-bless my kitchen with your presence, I won't return it to you."

"Fine," Kotoko said moodily. She sighed. "How about this? If you help me make an o-bento, I will tell you why I'm here. Deal?"

Kinnosuke eyed her hand reluctantly. "Deal," he agreed, shaking on it.

"Good. Now, knife," Kotoko said, hand held palm up.

Once the knife was back in her grasp, Kotoko whirled around and eyed the carrots.

Kinnosuke groaned.

* * *

It was hard to get Kinnosuke into character this time! Hope you enjoyed it, and please let me know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing!

First of all, a thousand apologies for not posting sooner! It's been sitting on my desktop collecting dust, but I finally remembered (in the midst of watching season 2 of Mischievous Kiss which is, by the way, awesome).

So, ready to find out why Kotoko was wreaking havoc in Kin-chan's kitchen so early in the morning?

Kotoko was walking through the streets of Tokyo with a bounce in her step. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this happy.

Well, that wasn't true. In fact, she had been feeling elated for the entire week, ever since one fateful evening when she finally ventured outside _Aihara_'s doors late at night to find a man leaning against a lamp post, waiting for her.

She's never told him, but he always looks best slouched against something without a care in the world. But then again, he always looks his best doing anything. Maybe it was just… she didn't know. She wasn't sure why she had opened her heart up once again to him.

Sometimes, love works in mysterious ways.

Kotoko giggled.

On Saturday, he brought her to a little café three blocks away from _Aihara_, where they sat and talked. The rain was drizzling against the window pane, and there was a constant influx of dripping customers blown into the café to escape the outside world. The two of them paid no heed to anyone, not the waitress that kept eyeing him (well, alright, maybe Kotoko did glare at her once), or a neighbouring table of rowdy high school students.

On Sunday, they had dinner at his family's house. Kotoko hadn't wanted to tell everyone that they were finally mending their relationship, but this was one bargain that he won. In exchange, he agreed to take her to Okinawa sometime in the future. She was looking forward to that a lot, and she had a list of places she wanted to drag him to when he finally stopped working for a few days.

On Monday, they had dinner again, but this time at a cozy restaurant in the financial district. She gasped a bit at the prices, but after he assured her that he could more than afford their bill, she tried to put it out of her mind. They eventually fell into talking again, and Kotoko was pleased to see that, even though he wasn't much of a talker (which didn't bother her much because she spoke enough for the both of them), he listened to every word she said.

Every single night, she went to bed with a smile on her face and a jittery, frantic heart.

Today was Friday. According to him, today he had no lunch appointments to rush off to, so he was free to 'entertain' her. She, in turn, demanded that he wait in his office for her to show up bearing food. He promised to be there, and this morning when he woke up her up with a short phone call (there was that silly grin again! Oh honestly, how arrogant he was, assuming she would be delighted by his voice first thing in the morning – and, like in most things, he was right. But she didn't tell him that) they had reiterated their promise.

Which led to her standing in front of the glass sliding doors bearing the giant pink words 'PANDAI' on them, and checking her watch.

She was a few minutes early, but she hoped he wouldn't mind.

It was that young woman from a week ago. Kotoko remembered her wane smile and her tired eyes. She remembered feeling extremely sorry towards that woman and the dismally cold way he had treated her (she also remembered scolding him a bit afterwards, only to be placated by a gentle kiss).

It seemed the young woman remembered Kotoko as well.

"Oh!" she said, looking up from her paperwork. Kotoko had received a special pass from the reception desk at the front, one which she was told would grant her access to anywhere she wished to go.

The receptionist looked at the pass pinned to the front of Kotoko's dress and squinted.

"Are you… Aihara-san?" she asked.

"Yes," Kotoko smiled warmly. "That's me!"

"I see," the receptionist said uncertainly.

"I was also your server about a week ago," Kotoko said.

"I remember that," the young woman said, a shadow crossing her face.

"I want to apologize," Kotoko said softly, "Genma-san."

The young woman's face shot up, perplexed and a bit hostile. "Apologize? For what?"

"For…" Kotoko didn't know how to phrase this delicately. "I'm not certain why you were dining with Naoki that night, but he treated you very disrespectfully."

The young woman's mouth tightened after a long pause.

"I graduated from Tokyo University with a Bachelor's degree. I worked my way up the ladder, until I finally got this position, and I've seen Irie-san every day for a year now. Yet why is it that _you_ –"

She broke off, but Kotoko could fill in the blanks. Why was it that _she_, a lowly server, could address the CEO of Pandai so casually? Could be audacious enough to apologize on his behalf?

"He chose me." Kotoko said it very simply. "You seem like an intelligent young woman, but there's no room for intelligence when it comes to matters of the heart. Love doesn't make sense. It just is."

The woman sat there, her face harsh and stern, the white fluorescent lighting flickering off her strained features.

"I see," she said finally. "I apologize for my rudeness. Please forgive me for overstepping my bounds. Irie-san is currently available, and he will see you immediately."

Kotoko hesitated, lingering by the desk. She finally crossed over to the fancy machine on the other side of the waiting room, grabbed a paper cup, and filled it with some steaming hot tea.

"Drink," she said, gently placing in front of the woman. "Nothing calms the soul like a good brew of tea."

Kotoko danced off through the heavy doors that led into his office.

**Please review!** Thoughts? Hope you're enjoying season 2 as well!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing!

I'm baaack! Ready to figure out what's going on inside Naoki's head?

...

He was sitting in front of his laptop, staring moodily at it. The clock on the bottom right hand corner of the bright screen told him it was five minutes to noon. Five minutes had never dragged on for so long in his life.

The bottom of his chin met his upturned palm as he propped an arm on his desk. His large office, with its stunning view of Tokyo and an entire bank of floor to ceiling glass windows, felt small and stuffy all of a sudden. He loosed his tie a bit, shook his head, and refocused his eyes on the screen.

Tomorrow, he had plans to take her to the zoo. While he personally would never have ventured into that crowded mass of snotty brats and their overworked parents, he knew she would appreciate the gesture. He also knew that there would be a special exhibit on penguins tomorrow, slotted to be in Japan for only two weeks.

He sighed. His mind was wandering again; he seemed to be frequently distracted from his work. Perhaps a vacation was in order, one to Okinawa where he could watch her run about in a bikini amidst the white beaches and gentle waves.

But wouldn't Okinawa be cold this time of year? Hawaii then, and the cost of purchasing a visa on such short notice would be completely worth it. There was a soft knock on his door that infiltrated his thoughts. He cleared his throat, sat up straight, and waited as she peeked her head into his office.

She was smiling that brilliant smile of hers, and suddenly his room was just perfect and his tie was more than comfortable because everything was right in the world.

"I'm a bit early," she said. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," he said smoothly. "Come in."

He stood up from behind his desk, and walked towards the comfortable couches on the other side of his office. "Sit," he said, making himself comfortable on one end.

She sat down beside him, still smiling.

"Oh!" she said, before rummaging through her bag. "I forgot the… Aha!"

She untied the cloth wrapping the two bentos, before placing the lids beside the boxes and waited as he surveyed the food on his coffee table.

"This…" he said slowly. "Did you make this?"

"Of course!" she said, highly affronted. She leaned into him, resting slightly against his shoulders, and he carefully positioned an arm around her.

"Without help?" he asked blandly. There was something in his tone though, a dark undercurrent that was, at the same time, slightly sweet, and it alerted her to the fact that he was…

"You're making fun of me," she said, pouting slightly.

"I'm not," he instantly retracted. "I merely implied it wasn't possible for you to make all of this without an act of God or an act of Kinnosuke. And I'm suspecting the latter."

"So you are making fun of me," she sighed. "Oh, very well, you caught me. I was trying to make something this morning, but the miso soup went horribly wrong and Kin-chan wouldn't let me touch the pots again. And then, he had the nerve to take away my knife! Can you believe that? So of course I was very mad at him, but then he helped me make all this and…"

He sat next to her, soaking in her presence, and watched as her lovely mouth continued to form shapes, spilling forth words that never made it to his brain.

"…but then – Naoki. Naoki! Naoki, are you even listening to me?"

"Huh?" he said, startled. He recovered quickly, but knew he had been caught.

"Where's your head this morning?" she asked.

"Hmm?" he said.

"I said –" she cried rather indignantly, but was cut off suddenly by a pair of warm lips.

"…"

"It was there," he said, smirking at the blush on her cheeks. They matched her red and slightly swollen lips.

Her eyes flashed. "So you were thinking about ki – … mrmph – Naoki!"

Except it was more like a sigh, and Naoki knew he had sufficiently distracted her to cover up his past slip up.

"Why did you choose me?" she asked suddenly.

He was thrown back for a bit, but then again he was used to her asking seemingly random questions at strange times, although it all made sense in her universe.

"Why the sudden question?" he asked instead.

"You never did explain why you chose me, of all people," she responded, lifting her head slightly from his side. He tightened his grip around her, and she slowly relaxed back into his embrace.

"Then why did you choose me?" he asked. He was rubbing little circles into her shoulder, and she thought he might not even be aware he was doing it, but she loved it because it made her feel safe and loved.

"I trust you," she said simply.

"Even after everything?"

"Especially after everything. I've know you for a long time, and I know the way you think. You're a good man, beyond the mask of imperviousness you show the world."

She said it all so matter-of-factly, as if it was obvious and apparent to everyone. Some part of him, the part that lay awake in bed every night wondering if this was all a really good fantasy that was going to come crashing to a halt, breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"It's your turn now," she prompted, and he tensed.

"I know," she began, "that you're not the best at… expressing feelings. I don't want to pressure you. I can see it, you know, and I can feel it, so that's enough for me. It's more important than _words –_"

"No," he forced out. "No, you deserve to know. I don't want you to doubt what it is that I feel for you, because you will never need to.

More than anyone, it's always been you. There has never been a time since I've met you that you have not held some piece of my heart. I just didn't know it at times, and when I did realize it… I thought I'd lost you. I never, ever want to feel that way again. Ever."

She sat there quietly, and looked at his passionate eyes as words tumbled from his red lips to her aching heart.

"Because I trust you too. I've always guarded my heart, but I know if it's you, if I give it to you, then you'll take care of it and keep it safe."

"You can be so sweet sometimes, Naoki," she finally said. Her eyes were feeling a bit itchy, and there was this prickling sensation in her chest. She felt his thumb on her cheeks, swiping at her skin, and then she realized she was crying.

"Why did you ask me this today?" he said, trying to distract her.

"Hmm?" she blew her nose gently. "Oh, it was nothing."

"It must have been something," he said, giving her a look. "Every action is a reaction, so there has to have been a provocation."

Still she refused to say anything.

...

It wasn't until later, after lunch was finished and Kotoko had breezed off, leaving his office dull and empty, that Naoki finally ventured outside. He found a paper cup resting on his receptionist's desk, one of the cups in the stack besides the drinks machine, and upon closer inspection realized its contents was green tea.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Irie-san?" the receptionist asked carefully.

He picked up the paper cup.

"You don't like green tea," he stated.

"Yes. I didn't realize you noticed," she said. Her heart skipped a beat, but her eyes remained downcast.

"Hmm," he said. "Do you mind if I take this?"

"No," she said, looking up.

He turned and walked back to his office, cup in hand.

"Oh, and Genma-san?" he said, pausing in front of the office door.

"Yes?' she asked.

"Kotoko is to be given access to me at all times. See that you send her in immediately the next time she visits."

He took a sip of green tea, and walked through the doors.

...

**Thoughts?** This was all that I had planned originally, but these characters seem to have a life of their own!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing**

There's no set story arc, it's just a little whimsy of imagination of what-ifs and could-have-beens. Take it as a drabble. It's like life; you never when it's going to end :)

...

There was a renowned ladies college around 20 miles outside of Tokyo proper, and Kotoko was making her way there one sunny morning. She had set her alarm clock extra early just to be sure the bus wouldn't leave without her, and as she peered out of the slightly grimy window she smiled contentedly. Her appointment was at 10am, and the thin leather watch on her wrist said quarter past nine. She would make it there on time.

It wasn't often that she made the trip out there, but it was important for her to do it this time. Because she had made a promise to that poor girl she intended to keep…

Has it been a year already now, she wondered? Time flew by so fast, she was afraid to blink. How funny life was sometimes. One year ago, she thought herself to be in the utter depths of despair, and yet today she felt absolutely invincible.

One year ago… yes, that would have been spring of last year. When she was in her second year of university, thinking she would be separated from _him_ for forever, and feeling like her heart would break every second of every day. There was a perpetual black cloud above her head, and when the sun shined she wished it wouldn't because the harsh rays seemed to mock her pain.

As Kotoko looked through the windows of the bus, she saw a girl running blindly away from a boy.

She had no idea where she was going, but she ran anyways into that dark endless night. The pavement seemed to melt under her feet as she hurtled past a blur of houses. There was no end in sight, but she didn't want there to be an end. She never, ever wanted to stop running.

Until suddenly she was no longer moving, because there was a harsh grip on her shaking arm and she was being wrenched around to face… him.

He was panting in front of her, his tall body stooped at the knee so that he could look her in the eye.

"Let me go!" she screeched, struggling to free herself. He didn't say a word, but his iron grip more than imparted the emphatic _no_ she read in his eyes.

"Please," she finally whispered. "Leave me alone."

"What will you do? If I let you go, what will you do?" he asked. She searched his eyes, knowing that even if his voice was flat and he sounded unconcerned, Irie Naoki would not be standing on a street in Tokyo in the middle of the night without a reason. His eyes, she knew, would tell her what she wanted to know.

What would she do if he let her go?

What would she do if she let him go?

"I don't know," she replied bitterly. She thought of her present, of the things and people she had thought would be in her future, and wondered if she was allowed to be angry at the beautiful boy standing in front of her.

She drew in a deep breathe, and then let it out.

"I don't hate you," she said honestly. "I understand why… why you're doing what you're doing."

"Good," he said. "That's… good."

"So you can let go of me now. I won't run anymore," she said.

He hesitated, then slowly uncurled his fingers from around her arm. Although winter was fading and the coming of spring was upon them, the air was still chilly with the absence of the sun. Their breaths mingled in the night.

They walked together back to his house. It was a long walk, and she had a lot on her mind, but she couldn't help but think it was like any other walk. They had often walked this path together, first from high school and then from university, and she knew the trees lining the roadside like the back of her mind.

She felt calm now, as they stood in front of the Irie's house, so she reached out one hand and tugged his sleeve. For a second, she thought he wouldn't stop, but his strides eventually petered to a halt.

"Thank you. I've cherished the five years I've spent loving you. I wish you all the best in life," she said simply.

Even though her love, her beautiful, painful love, was unreciprocated. Even though, in the end, he was never hers to begin with and would never be hers. She realized those five years had not been wasted. They had been the best years of her life.

He didn't say anything. She didn't expect him to. She had come to know his personality quirks quite well after five years of observing him.

She knew when he was happy, and when he was sad. She knew him by the way he walked. But after six years, she still hadn't figured out whether the glimpses of affection she'd seen in him translated into love.

When she'd braved through the parents clustered in the living room ("Are you alright?!" "Yes, I'm sorry about that. I'm retiring now, good night.") and reached the peace and quiet of her room, she tried to convince herself how refreshing it was to finally, _finally_ have an answer to the question she has never ever asked him.

She woke up the next morning with tears on her face.

...

"Excuse me, young lady," croaked a voice to her left. Kotoko whipped around, and saw an old woman laden with two heavy bags of groceries standing there.

"Oh! I'm so sorry," Kotoko said. She scooched over a bit to the right and pressed herself up against the window.

"Nothing to worry about dear," said the old grandmother as she carefully rearranged her grocery bags so that they lay at her feet.

Kotoko noticed that the old grandmother's hands were bony and wrinkly now, but that there was a prominent golden band wrapped around her fourth finger that made her hands beautiful.

"Have you been married for long?" Kotoko asked, slightly curious. The bus was winding through suburbs now, peaceful rows of homes bustling with noise and laughter.

The old grandmother looked at the young lady sitting beside her, and noticed her attention on the golden ring. "Ah!" she exclaimed, "My ring! You spotted my ring!"

"It's a very beautiful ring," Kotoko praised.

Bony fingers twisted the ring round and round. It looked like a smooth, practiced motion.

"My husband gave this ring to me nigh on sixty years ago. I was only fifteen then, but… well, suffice it to say things were different back then," the old grandmother sighed wistfully. Kotoko nodded seriously, giving her full attention to the story.

"How wonderful," Kotoko breathed dreamily. "To be married for sixty years…"

The old grandmother turned to her with a knowing look. "When you think of yourself in sixty years, who's walking beside you?"

"Obaa-chan!" Kotoko laughed.

"I see it written all over your face, young lady. You've got a boy in your heart," the old grandmother said wisely. "Making you all kinds of dizzy, isn't he?"

"Oh, he does! He's cold, and mean, and he teases me all the time," Kotoko pouted, before her voice softened, "But then sometimes he smiles at me, and everything's right in the world again."

The old grandmother laughed. It was a wheezing laugh, a wonderful sound that warmed Kotoko's heart, and Kotoko found herself laughing along with her seat companion.

...

**Thoughts? **How do you like seeing the world through Kotoko's eyes? Is she out of character?


End file.
